Strange Funny Quotes That Make No Sense
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Looking for a good laugh? We've got y'all covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud.
Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul.
Not but does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives y'all an fantabulous ab workout, and releases endorphins.
So bask these 300 funny quotes, sayings, and observations and get laughing today.
Funny Quotes
I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm merely going to enquire where they're going and claw up with 'em afterward.
Mitch Hedberg
A pessimist is a person who has had to heed to too many optimists.
Don Marquis
Ameliorate to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this 1?
Abraham Lincoln
The best thing about the future is that it comes one 24-hour interval at a fourth dimension.
Abraham Lincoln
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Dylan Thomas
Low-cal travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Alan Dundes
The divergence between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Ambrose Pierce
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.
Ann Landers
I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and nosotros're skeptical.
Arthur C. Clarke
A depository financial institution is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't demand it.
Bob Hope
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
Caroline Rhea
I always go far late at the office, but I brand up for it past leaving early.
Charles Lamb
Don't worry about the world coming to an finish today. Information technology is already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles Shulz
A day without laughter is a twenty-four hours wasted.
Charlie Chaplin
Political correctness is tyranny with manners.
Charleton Heston
If yous recollect yous are besides small to brand a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
Dalai Lama
Recollect, today is the tomorrow yous worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie
Education is learning what you lot didn't fifty-fifty know you didn't know.
Daniel J. Boorstin
Anybody with telekinetic powers, raise my paw.
Emo Philips
All the things I actually like to practice are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
Never get to a doctor whose office plants take died.
Erma Bombeck
Marriage is the only state of war in which yous sleep with the enemy.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that information technology has never tried to contact u.s..
Bill Waterson
Whoever said money tin can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop.
Gertrude Stein
All men are equal earlier fish.
Herbert Hoover
People who retrieve they know everything are a corking badgerer to those of us who practise.
Isaac Asimov
My pessimism extends to the bespeak of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.
Jean Rostand
Life is hard. Afterward all, it kills you.
Katharine Hepburn
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear simply forgetting where yous heard it.
Laurence J. Peter
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Marker Twain
I am only human, although I regret it.
Mark Twain
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the easily of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Norm Crosby
What the earth needs is more than geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
Oscar Levant
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
I dream of a ameliorate tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I know that there are people who exercise not honey their swain human, and I detest people like that!
Tom Lehrer
A rich human being is nothing merely a poor man with coin.
W. C. Fields
Insanity is hereditary; yous get it from your children.
Sam Levenson
He knows zilch; he thinks he knows everything – that conspicuously points to a political career.
George Bernard Shaw
Everything is funny, as long as information technology's happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
I had plastic surgery last calendar week – I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
Expecting the globe to treat y'all fairly because you are a skilful person is a fiddling like expecting the bull not to attack you lot considering y'all are a vegetarian.
Dennis Wholey
Funny Quotes from Comedians
Nobody provides laughs like comedians. Subsequently all, they do it for a living!
These funny quotes are some of the all-time nosotros could observe from hilarious actors and comics alike.
The average canis familiaris is a nicer person than the boilerplate person.
Andy Rooney
Accept you lot noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
Benny Hill
As a child my family's menu consisted of ii choices: accept information technology or exit it.
Buddy Hackett
It is a scientific fact that your trunk will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from some other person's plate.
Dave Barry
Everyone has a purpose in life. Possibly yours is watching television.
David Letterman
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was lx. She's xc-vii at present, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
tin can't empathise why a person will take a year to write a novel when he tin can easily buy i for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir; ii hundred people inverse their faith.
Fred Allen
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, shut-knit family in another city.
George Burns
Happiness is a dry out martini and a adept woman… or a bad adult female.
George Burns
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was but sick.
George Burns
Have you e'er noticed that anybody driving faster than you lot is a maniac, and anyone going slower than y'all is a moron?
George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more equally they go older; so information technology dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld
Co-ordinate to a new survey, ninety% of men say their lover is also their all-time friend. Which is really kind of agonizing when you consider man'southward best friend is his canis familiaris.
Jay Leno
It's amazing that the corporeality of news that happens in the globe every day ever only exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld
Money is not the near of import thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Jackie Stonemason
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Beak Maher
Women cannot complain most men anymore until they kickoff getting better taste in them.
Neb Maher
If you recall you lot take it tough, read history books.
Bill Maher
This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
Bill Maher
A study in the Washington Post says that women have meliorate exact skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that report: 'Duh.'
Conan O'Brien
The only bathroom law I'm interested in is one that bans loud sighing.
Conan O'Brien
I always wanted to be somebody, just now I realize I should accept been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
The road to success is always under construction.
Lily Tomlin
God did non intend religion to be an exercise club.
Naguib Mahfouz
If love is the respond, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
Every time something pops in my head, I recall twice about it and I do it anyway.
Gilbert Gottfried
If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
Gilbert Gottfried
The word abbreviation sure is long for what it ways.
Zach Galifianakis
Anyone can be confident with a full caput of hair. Simply a confident bald homo – there's your diamond in the rough.
Larry David
If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable – but non equally miserable.
Larry David
I'm one of the few people in Hollywood who actually had a expert childhood.
Seth MacFarlane
Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.
Tina Fey
Talking near music is similar dancing about architecture.
Steve Martin
My best nascence control now is simply to go out the lights on.
Joan Rivers
Don't keep a man guessing too long – he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Mae Due west
I'thou not for everyone. I'm barely for me.
Marc Maron
Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.
Margaret Culkin Banning
Son, if you lot really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now repose! They're about to denote the lottery numbers.
Matt Groening
A day without sunshine is like, yous know, dark.
Steve Martin
The Net is just a earth passing effectually notes in a classroom.
Jon Stewart
Fatherhood is great because you lot tin ruin someone from scratch.
Jon Stewart
You lot take to think one matter about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago nosotros were swept away by the Macarena.
Jon Stewart
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
Mike Myers
If evolution really works, how come up mothers but have ii hands?
Milton Berle
My doc told me that jogging could add together years to my life. I call up he was correct. I feel x years older already.
Milton Berle
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't beget. Then I desire to movement in with them.
Phyllis Diller
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Redd Foxx
When you're in love it'due south the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
Richard Lewis
Lead me not into temptation; I tin find the way myself.
Rita Mae Brown
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his starting time name was E'er.
Rita Rudner
If you lot want to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield, Back to School
I don't desire to achieve immortality through my piece of work. I want to accomplish it through not dying.
Woody Allen
Union is like mushrooms: we notice as well belatedly if they are good or bad.
Woody Allen
The best mode to teach your kids virtually taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.
Bill Murray
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing department in a pool.
Beak Murray
Before you marry a person, you should at least brand them employ a computer with a slow internet connectedness to find out who they really are.
Will Ferrell
Different sense of taste in jokes is a peachy strain on the angel.
George Eliot
Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I scout them all on Television.
Thomas Sowell
If your parents never had children, chances are… neither will you.
Dick Cavett
The guy who invented the commencement wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other 3, he was a genius.
Sid Caesar
The Supreme Courtroom has ruled that they cannot accept a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for whatsoever religious reasons. They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
Mae Westward
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you tin't resist.
Franklin Jones
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's possessor – and the distance you are from your car.
Demetri Martin
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
I live about four muggings from Cardinal Park.
Henny Youngman
The clandestine of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her fashion back.
Henny Youngman
I did not climb to the height of the food concatenation to eat carrots.
Ron White
DeBeers should modify it's motto to 'Diamonds – that'll shut her upward… for a minute!'
Ron White
I wouldn't military camp out for five days if was… camping ground.
Ron White
Quotes to Make You Laugh
Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.
Benjamin Franklin
Inside me in that location's a thin person struggling to become out, merely I can commonly sedate him with iv or five cupcakes.
Bob Thaves
All right anybody, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe information technology.
Clarence Darrow
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry
I used to jog simply the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
David Lee Roth
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is hither, it volition instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more baroque and inexplicable.In that location is some other theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Earl Wilson
A adult female is similar a tea handbag – you can't tell how potent she is until y'all put her in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt
A computer once beat me at chess, merely information technology was no lucifer for me at kick battle.
Emo Philips
I asked God for a bike, only I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Emo Philips
You lot know yous're getting old when y'all stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could exercise while y'all're downwardly there.
George Burns
If you effort to fail, and succeed, which take you done?
George Carlin
To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well washed. And to the C students, I say you, as well, can be president of the United States.
George W. Bush-league
Before you judge a human being, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He'south a mile away and you've got his shoes!
Billy Connolly
Hither'due south to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
The two about common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Harlan Ellison
Life begins at 40 – merely then practise fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
Helen Rowland
I've got all the money I'll always demand, if I die by four o'clock.
Henny Youngman
Sickos don't scare me. At least they're committed.
Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns
All y'all need is love. But a little chocolate at present and and then doesn't hurt.
Charles Schulz
Friends are people who know you lot really well and like you anyway.
Greg Tamblyn
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Jay Leno
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more than.
James Thurber
Facebook but sounds similar a elevate, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a penalty.
Betty White
They say marriages are made in Sky. But and then is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
Josh Billings
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put information technology in your pocket.
Kin Hubbard
True terror is to wake up 1 morning and observe that your loftier school grade is running the land.
Kurt Vonnegut
Clothes brand the homo. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can practise the day subsequently tomorrow.
Mark Twain
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is non putting it in a fruit salad.
Miles Kington
The only time a woman really succeeds in irresolute a man is when he is a baby.
Natalie Woods
E'er borrow money from a pessimist. He won't await it back.
Oscar Wilde
The merely reason some people get lost in thought is because information technology'due south unfamiliar territory.
Paul Fix
A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., Thousand.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
Fatz Domino
"Exist yourself" is about the worst advice you tin requite some people.
Thomas Lansing Masson
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second stance. He said okay, yous're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take carve up vacations – we're doing everything we can to go along our union together.
Rodney Dangerfield
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I effigy, why have the gamble?
Ronald Reagan
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut y'all used to go for five dollars when you lot had hair.
Sam Ewing
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife)… but still my own.
Si Robertson
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. And so he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
When I was a child my parents moved a lot, only I ever found them.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was trying to daydream, but my heed kept wandering.
Steven Wright
My fake plants died because I did non pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would desire to alive in an institution?
H.L. Mencken
I told you lot to go to Cox'southward and buy a searsucker suit, but information technology looks like you went to Sears instead.
Jay Shulte
I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I accept worms.
Michael Scott
Hilarious Sayings
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot outset, and call whatever you hit the target.
Ashleigh Bright
My opinions may have inverse, but not the fact that I'chiliad right.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Wine is constant proof that God loves united states of america and loves to see united states happy.
Benjamin Franklin
We never really grow upwards, we but acquire how to act in public.
Bryan White
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they besides laughed at Bozo the Clown.
Carl Sagan
Analyzing humour is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
E. B. White
Never take more than children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck
I drink to brand other people more interesting.
Ernest Hemingway
One tequila, 2 tequila, three tequila, flooring.
George Carlin
Backside every successful homo is a woman, backside her is his wife.
Groucho Marx
Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-constabulary.
Voltaire
If yous detect it hard to express mirth at yourself, I would be happy to practice it for you lot.
Groucho Marx
Information technology'south a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when y'all lose yours.
Ronald Reagan
A lie gets halfway effectually the world before the truth has a chance to go its pants on.
Winston Chruchill
f yous're going to practise something tonight that yous'll be distressing for tomorrow morning, sleep belatedly.
Henny Youngman
When we talk to God, nosotros're praying. When God talks to usa, we're schizophrenic.
Jane Wagner
Express joy a lot. Information technology burns a lot of calories.
Jessica Simpson
If you die in an lift, be sure to button the up button.
Sam Levenson
Once you give upward integrity, the balance is a piece of block.
J.R. Ewing, Dallas
A fool and his money never should have got together in the get-go place.
Michael Douglas, Wall Street
If you think education is expensive, endeavor ignorance.
Derek Bok
I idea I was wrong one time, but I was mistaken.
H. Kyle Seale
Don't allow schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
Avoid fruits and nuts. You lot are what you lot eat.
Jim Davis
Age is but a number. Information technology's totally irrelevant unless, of class, you happen to be a bottle of wine.
Joan Collins
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kenendy
If you're too open up-minded; your brains will fall out.
Lawrence Ferlinghetti
I accept learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I tin repeat them exactly.
Peter Cook
There'due south a fine line betwixt genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Oscar Levant
A camel is a horse designed by a commission.
Sir Alec Issigonis
The man who smiles when things get wrong has idea of someone to blame it on.
Robert Bloch
Information technology does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!
Steven Weinberg
I intend to live forever. And then far, so good.
Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Steven Wright
A exact contract isn't worth the paper information technology's written on.
Samuel Goldwyn
I wish I were dumber then I could be more sure nearly my opinions. It looks fun.
Scott Adams
When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney J. Harris
If at commencement you don't succeed, try, try again. And then quit. At that place'southward no signal in being a damn fool about it.
Due west.C. Fields
We are all here on world to assistance others. What on world the others are here for I don't know.
W. H. Auden
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Will Rogers
When I die, I want to die like my grandad who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his motorcar.
Volition Rogers
I'm non superstitious, merely I am a little stitious.
Steve Carell, The Office
Y'all cannot soar with the eagles every bit long as you hang out with the turkeys.
Joel Osteen
Everybody talks about the atmospheric condition, but nobody does anything nearly it.
Charles Dudley Warner
If at first you lot don't succeed, quit. When life gives y'all lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.
Jim Rome
Information technology's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
Funny Observations
Sometimes merely observing daily life provides enough funny quotes to make you laugh.
These humorous ascertainment quotes are a bully mode to reflect and add together some levity to daily situations.
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Al McGuire
Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.
Oscar Wilde
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Albert Camus
Men marry women with the promise they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will alter. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Albert Einstein
Information technology would exist nice to spend billions on schools and roads, simply right at present that money is badly needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
At every party there are 2 kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are ordinarily married to each other.
Ann Landers
Doctors are just the aforementioned as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob y'all and kill you lot as well.
Anton Chekhov
By the time a man realizes that his begetter was right, he has a son who thinks he'south incorrect.
Charles Wadsworth
Loftier heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
Christopher Morley
If yous beloved something set it complimentary, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
Chuck Palahniuk
A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to exist sure, simply it makes things grow faster in the hereafter.
Dennis Waitley
Biologically speaking, if something bites you information technology's more than likely to be female.
Desmond Morris
Never doubtfulness the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
Doug Larson
Good advice is something a man gives when he is besides old to set a bad example.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
If yous live to exist one hundred, y'all've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns
Virtually people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money non to quit.
George Carlin
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian whatsoever more than than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
Baton Sunday
My physician gave me six months to alive, simply when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more than.
Walter Mathau
A blackness cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Groucho Marx
It'due south only when yous await at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny twenty-four hours that you realize how oft they burst into flames.
Harry Hill
Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.
J. Paul Getty
Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you become out shopping and at that place's nothing yous like. And so, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't accept the coin to buy both.
Janet Evanovich
Haters are simply confused admirers considering they tin't figure out the reason why anybody loves you.
Jeffree Star
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more than happiness to the human being race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.
Jim Harrison
Americans are incredibly impatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of fourth dimension in America is the time between when the light turns greenish and when yous hear the beginning horn honk.
Jim Rohn
It's ever darkest before the dawn. So if yous're going to steal your neighbour's paper, that's the time to do it.
Navjot Singh Sidhu
The abstention of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any advantage.
John Maynard Keynes
Life is hard; it'south harder if you lot're stupid.
John Wayne
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it'due south some other nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
Bill Vaughan
Coin won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
Bill Vaughan
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife tin spend. A successful woman is one who can observe such a man.
Lana Turner
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
Laurence J. Peter
Equally y'all get older three things happen. The first is your retentivity goes, and I can't remember the other two.
Norm Crosby
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Paul R. Ehrlich
We spend the kickoff twelve months of our children'due south lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit downwardly and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
By working faithfully viii hours a day you may somewhen get to be boss and piece of work twelve hours a mean solar day.
Robert Frost
If there are no stupid questions, and so what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart only in time to inquire questions?
Scott Adams
Half our life is spent trying to detect something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers
A sense of sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
William James
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that'southward why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
Yous've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might non go there.
Yogi Berra
The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute chat with the average voter.
Winston Chruchill
Never follow anyone else's path. Unless you're in the woods and you're lost and y'all encounter a path. So by all ways follow that path.
Ellen DeGeneris
I saw a adult female wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid trouble?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
Any pizza tin be a personal pizza if you take the correct attitude.
Mark Withers
A study of economics usually reveals that the all-time time to buy annihilation is last year.
Marty Allen
When you go to work, if your proper name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk-bound, y'all're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.
Rich Hall
Accomplishing the impossible means but the boss volition add it to your regular duties.
Doug Larson
In America, i sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person's chiliad.
Demetri Martin
We hope our collection of funny quotes from comedians, celebrities, and philosophers made you laugh out loud and gives you the cheer you lot need to get through the 24-hour interval.
Come back anytime y'all tin can do good from a practiced laugh, and stay inspired.
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Source: https://www.keepinspiring.me/funny-quotes/
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